Do you have a nurturer’s gift? Being a nurturer is a gift not given to everybody.
People seek nurturers out because they have the ability to ease the pain of others. Their comforting words and unrelenting compassion lighten up anyone’s load.
You know you’re a nurturer if it’s easy for people to open up to you their best-kept secrets even if they hardly know you. Or, when you’re the first person your friend or family member calls immediately every time a crisis in their life comes up.
While the nurturer’s gift is essential for human beings to survive, tending to the needs of other people may lead you to forget your own needs.
And before you knew it, you’re depleted of the energies needed to take care of yourself. This is the downside of being a nurturer.
Losing your inner balance creates havoc in yourself and even to the lives of others who are looking up to you. To avoid facing this dilemma, you must know that you’re a human being who has also your own needs to be met. Here are the ways to do it.
5 Ways You Can Best Help Others:
1. Tell yourself that you can’t be the savior of everybody.
Because the nurturer’s blood is running in your veins, helping others comes as second nature.
From being there for a friend who just broke her heart to wrapping your arms around a sister who just lost a loved one. You’re always there and people could count on you for help or assistance.
As this goes on and on, helping others could become an addiction that makes you feel great but is ultimately killing you from the inside. What you need to know is that you can’t be the savior of everybody.
You need to give yourself space to breathe because time will come that people will become dependent on you, which means you need to be always there for them even if you’re sick or are dealing with important life issues.
If this happens, you’re not only hurting yourself but are encouraging others not to stand on their own two feet.
2. Be not obsessed by the gratitude you receive.
Healing everyone can be destructive at some point. Even if it feels amazing to be thanked for by the people whom you have helped, let not yourself be carried away by their constant bombardment of gratitude.
Find your true worth in yourself and not in the numbers of people you have helped. Constantly fixing the lives of others and healing them are not proof that you’re living a healthy life.
3. Set boundaries for yourself.
You’re a human being who got your own needs to meet. Just because you give your all to help others, it means you’re already okay. No.
If this is your belief, you’re setting yourself up to feel guilty when you can’t be there for others every time.
This means you can’t take vacations without feeling guilty. You may think what will happen to your mom when you’re away or how your friend is going to cope without you at their side.
Stop believing that taking a needed break means doing it at the expense of other people.
Your choice may have an impact on other people’s lives, but loving them doesn’t mean you will love yourself less. Your gift is to take care of people, including yourself.
So, don’t eliminate yourself in the process. Cater to your own needs when you have to.
4. Expand your definition of a nurturer.
Being a nurturer doesn’t equate with being a martyr. You can show love and care to others without sacrificing yourself.
When the strings of sacrifice are attached, it shows an unhealthy form of love. You may invest your time and energies catering to the needs of others but only to a certain degree. And not on the same person over and over again.
Because if this is the case, there’s already a parasitic relationship that might be going on between the two of you.
You can love and take care of others without crippling them or yourself in the process. It’s what it means to become a nurturer.
5. Nourish not only others but also yourself.
A healthy nurturer knows how to nourish themselves while nourishing others. This means you need to ask help from others when you need to.
For example, you can nourish your relationship with your partner by having a weekend getaway with them and asking a friend to take care of your pet or your household while you’re away.
This is holistic nourishment, one that involves your self-nourishment along the way. It can also be enjoying a day with yourself alone, leaving behind the problems of others.
Sharing yourself, talents, and resources with the world is good only when it’s under your capability. But if the demands are beyond what you can offer, you should learn to say no.
You don’t have all the power to solve everybody’s problems. Most of all, your identity does not depend on constantly having someone to take care of.
You can deeply and fully love and care for others, but don’t forget to show profound love and care for yourself as well.